“But you, Israel, are my servant. You’re Jacob, my first choice, descendants of my good friend Abraham. I pulled you in from all over the world, called you in from every dark corner of the earth, Telling you, ‘You’re my servant, serving on my side. I’ve picked you. I haven’t dropped you.’ Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.”
-Isaiah 41:8-10 (Message)
I have always loved this verse. Especially in the message translation, the words have always been so powerful. Numerous times throughout the Old and New Testament we are told not to fear.
This past weekend I was planning to talk to someone about stepping down from a volunteer position, I had been considering it for a few weeks now and had talked it over with a friend. I had come to realize that my heart wasn’t in it, and that without me really wanting to be a part of the team I was more detrimental but helpful. For the last few months I have made excuses to my friend of reasons I could not quit (even though I really felt I needed too) They don’t have enough people, I can’t leave that all to them, maybe when someone else steps up, maybe when so-and-so is trained. Yet, he continued to remind me that it was not my responsibility to fill my own position, that I couldn’t keep doing something my heart wasn’t in.
So last week I texted and set up a time to chat over the weekend, and as I started to explain I wimped out. I made excuses for why I sent my text instead of what was really on my mind. And than I had to tell my friend that I wimped out and that’s when it hit me.
I am afraid.
I am afraid of letting people down, of not doing the right thing, or not being able to help. I’ve let fear control my decisions and everything I do. From the smallest of things, although half the time my excuses sound really good, that is all they are excuses.
This week I am focusing on that fear and reminding myself how many times God has called us not to fear. He always has our backs and no matter what He will not reject us.